If you can’t control yourself—your vices, your emotions, your tendency to act out—you cannot control another person. You are too weak and self-indulgent to control another. All submissives, even the best, resist control at times. Dealing with that resistance in a way that encourages good behavior in the submissive and helps to train her to be a better submissive and a happier person means realizing from the start that your submissive’s actions, however you may dislike them, are not about You. They are, rather, about her problems with submitting. Learning not to respond narcissistically, with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness when she behaves in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled Dominant will rationally and over time devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his submissive that discourage the behavior and attitudes he dislikes.
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
To submit to another, one must know themselves and trust themselves, as well as trust the one that they submit to. They must feel safe and secure in their environment, whether it be real life or simply an online experience.
Submission, to many is about being controlled, about being dominated in all ways, to have their every decision made for them. To seek this out is to open ones self to being taken and possibly hurt until there is a click. To find the One that fits, you must find an initial connection, build a trust and relationship that is not built from the interactions of a Dominant and submissive. To find the One that is your missing piece can be a lifelong journey for some, and some will never find that, they will bounce from relationship to relationship, seeking the missing link.
This should be what you are looking for as your missing link should you truly want to be submissive..on that subject be aware that there are also different types of submissives…there are submissives, slaves…and pets…you should research to see which one most fits who you are and what you yearn to become…
When you do find the right Dom, you will know because to submit to Him will be natural, easy, and wonderful. When you know you will cherish the exchange and the learning each other, one day at a time, one conversation at a time. You should and will have a connection outside of the D/s realm that strengthens your bond as Master and slave. But it will not be perfect, nothing is ever perfect. You need to cement the trust to make things work….
And I wish you all the best of luck.