The pleasure of tuition
Never information on sexuality have been many and varied. But medical or technical know-just to learn to love? Nothing is less certain. In this regard also, it is the practical work that count.
You noticed: we are bombarded with information about sexuality. Practical Guides, radio, newspaper articles or educational websites … The means of accumulating knowledge on the subject abound. What have I discovered while walking through the maze of information? That “suck a menthol lozenge before practicing fellatio add a fragrant note to my sex.”
Either. That “the most famous collectors of fun – called corpuscles Krause – focus on erogenous zones, including the tassels of the clitoris and penis; smart, they know how to distinguish a mechanical feel of a sense impression caress ”
Really? That validated what I already knew! Not to mention a practical exercise: “To provide a long cunnilingus, its movements can be varied by writing the letters of the alphabet with your tongue … Then we can practice writing complete sentences. ”
A psychic activity
These anatomical explanations or gymnastics to me they will learn to love, that is to say, to be ever closer, physically and emotionally, from the one I have chosen to share such intimacy? Not sure. There is something irreducible in human sexuality, something that prevents to restrict it to only words or gestures used to describe it. This dimension is the essential role played by the mind.
Everyone experiences it at the age of his first masturbation “Like alone, the hand is not enough, the teenager discovers he can not masturbate without using fantasies, says psychoanalyst Didier Dumas, indicating to him that sexual activity is first psychic activity. do you even lift
Furthermore, if we are informed, we are rarely introduced to the symbolic or transcendent sexuality, which is contacted with the unfathomable questions of human existence, procreation, life, death … In search of this dimension, many turn elsewhere to Eastern philosophies and their “art of loving” linked to the sacred.
Norms and standards
Irreducible, psychic or spiritual, can nevertheless be taught sexuality as well as foreign languages? Historically, different “teachers” have sought, with different motivations, to teach us to love. Ovid’s Art of Love and his or refined texts and thousands of non-Western cultures, such as the famous Kama-sutra, are probably the best examples. Reports of the latter sentences about love, however, we have remembered one chapter – the one on the positions – on its seven hundred dedicated to human relationships! The Church is also concerned about our antics. St. Augustine’s texts, which founded the Christian doctrine on the couple and sexuality, even today define the boundaries of forbidden on fidelity, procreation and “purification of pleasure.” Science also got involved. As described by the philosopher Michel Foucault, our Western modernity has taken us to a “science – accurate and normative – of sexuality”
The pioneers of this new field of study – doctors and sexologists – wanted to give us the key to désinhiber us reaching levels of fun liberating. The first standards are then born: for women, the educational goal became “orgasm”; for men, “take a long time to allow women to reach orgasm.” Rapidly, especially since the AIDS, “technicisation” and the medicalization of sexuality have increased. And standardization also. Our education is now limited to two aspects: learning gestures safe – wear a condom, know when to perform oral sex, etc. – And seek always more fun.
In this consumerist quest for the “more fun” sex industry has become the new teacher. Now, it takes with it when it comes to sex education because today, 58% of boys and 45% of girls 13 years have seen a porno film (according Michela Marzano in Alice in porn Ramsay, 2005). This will certainly affect their sexual learning